More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize