speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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