so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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