i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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