Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
