My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do you have feelings for this penis?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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