I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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