? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize