I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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