4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Randomize
