I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
