ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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