To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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