if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
