he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
