Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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