I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
