I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm way too hungover for life right now
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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