I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
