you didnt know i had herpes?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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