so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
