The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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