Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Actions speak louder than pants.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
