Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize