Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
