did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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