need another drink. this is the easiest way
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
