she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
