make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
