i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
