I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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