i permit you to call me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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