exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
