he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
