I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
