I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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