walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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