problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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