You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
