just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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