I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
