If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
