Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
