Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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