Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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