She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
