shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
