He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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