Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
