you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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