he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
