I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize