More tranny stories later!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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