I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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