If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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