love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
