Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
