dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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