Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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