I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
