Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
did you just send me my own nude
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
