I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
